Revelation

I know it has been a very, very, very long time since I last posted a blog, but sue me I was healing for criminy sake. In any case I have now found something in my life that is actually worth writing about.

I realized that I usually use my blog to share my confusion and complain about my horrible jobs that I keep getting myself into, but not this time. Okay maybe for that one second smart ass. Annnnywho.

I am going to give a little background on my life revelation. I was invited to share in the picture party that my mother had with her latest group of trip companions. For those of you who know my mother you know that she is ALWAYS going on a trip somewhere in the world. Am I hating? YES!! But that is for another blog. So I am sitting at my grandmothers house surrounded by women who are educated, driven, successful, determined and community minded. Did I feel a little out of place well, yeah kind of, but again that is for another blog. So as I am talking to this varied group of women a revelation comes to me. I never understood fully those moments when people say that they were spoken to by a higher power until right then. It is true!! I was told to open an all girls boarding school.

Now, I know that it seems anti-climatic, but just listen. Having worked in education on and off for 10 years I have seen many things. Especially when it comes to our young women. I have seen bright, excited, driven and self motivated girls turn into depressed, dumbed down, unenthusiastice, boy crazy and docile teenagers. I couldn't for the life of me understand the disconnect. So I thought well, maybe if I work with these girls in High School I will make a difference, well it kind of worked, but it did not garner the results that I am looking for. So as I am learning from these ladies I have my revelation and it begins to spill out of me like an overflowing toilet. I had curriculum, teachers, classes, how I wanted the entire thing to look and then I said well heck might as well get started. So I am claiming it and putting it out there for all to see. Ms. Denva is going to be the headmistress of a boarding school.

This has been a long time coming as I look back at my school career as well as my working resume. All of the things that I have done in my life up to this point have prepared me for this pivotal moment. This is my time and I am now ready to begin my career.

Just thought I would share.

Ms. Denva.

10 Favorite Songs

So, Paz has hit me up on a meme again. He did this like a grip ago so I fail for not reading his blog sooner, but better late than never.I have been charged to write down 10 songs that have influenced me throughout my life. Then tag more folx. So, why not.



1.) Orinoco Flow by Enya- This song has always given me awesome dreams and it just makes me feel free. I love this song and am a huge Enya fan.








2.) Ribbon in the Sky by Stevie Wonder- If I ever decide to get married I want to dance to this song. I love it immensely and I love the irony of a blind man finding the beauty in a ribbon in the sky.








3.) So Soul Good by Rahjwanti-When I first heard this song it simply pumped me up, but then as I listened to the words I realized that I want to be that woman for an awesome man. It is on his myspace page if you care to listen, I wrote about it in a previous blog.




4.) Unwritten by Natalie Bedinger- This is a new favorite. Like Hulk Hogan says, "I am a closet Hills freak." When I listened to the words of this song, it just made me hopeful. It is very artistic and I can empathize with the angst in it as well.






5.) Roof Garden By Al Jarreau- This song is just fun and reminds me of my childhood, which was mainly a very happy one.








6.) All I Need by Clymaxx- This song is by a friend of mine who is one of the most amazing men I have ever had the priviledge to know in my life time. His words are deep and from the heart and it is just awesome to call him a friend. This song is on my myspace page.











7.)
Tumba by Angelique Kidjoe- I have no idea what she is saying in this song, but the music is so upbeat you can't help but to dance and sing along.








8.) Nobody's Supposed to be Here by Deborah Cox- Excellent and exactly how I had been feeling for some time. It is a great song for the broken hearted trying to heal themselves.










9.)That's Just the Way the Father Is by The Kurt Carr Singers- This song saved me.









10.) I Know The Plans by Martha Munizzi- This song is amazing. Martha really brings it home and when I was getting depressed during my time in the wheelchair, I would either sing or play this song to remind me that GOD had not forgotten about me and that he has a plan for me and this was a way for me to be a testimony to someone else.




Those are my songs.

I don't really know a lot of bloggers so here are the few people I will tag:

Torahmom
Brandon B
Joshua's Jukebox
The Counselor
Clymaxx
David Byrd

28 and Still Workin It Out

As many of you know I just celebrated my 28th Birthday on July 24th. Yes, I am a leo in every sense of the definition. Beyond my natural hubris, I realized that no matter if it is your birthday or not, "life comes wit it." I have already had ups and downs and I have only been at this 28 thing for four days. This is a time in my life where I am feeling more confused. More uncertain and more helpless than I ever have. Life is no joke. I hope I can survive this year because it is already kicking my butt. It is time for me to change a lot of things and I know this because I have the icky feeling of uncomfortable. I guess that might have been how I felt right before I was born. My comfy little world is squeezing in on me and I need to be free. Well, I will get there, I always do.

Update:

Just an update on my broken foot. I finally got my cast off the day after my birthday. My leg feels like a noodle in a shoe and I am trying not to walk with a limp. My doctor told me that I have now gotten to the hard part and this is really gonna hurt. Pray for my speedy recovery and I am sure the next blog will be a lot funnier.

The Confused and uncomfortable 5280 Princess,

Ms. Denva

Slavery... Right around the corner

As I have been watching the news and reviewing the laws that are being passed, I have realized that the thing we joked about for years, just may be right around the corner. That's right slavery is right around the corner.

When there is an 6 member all white jury that is convicting children. Slavery is right around the corner. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19488285/

When the supreme basically rules that separate is equal again. Slavery is right around the corner.

When a 14 year old child is sentenced to be jailed for years because she pushed a security guard at school. Slavery is right around the corner.

Here is the thing, if the people are guilty then yes, they need to serve some amount of time, but the reality is that the first thing being assessed is the color of their skin. However, we already know the Black people make up a disproportionate number of people in jails. Those are the same people who have to work for free, chained together. Is that not a form of slavery? They are not given adequate tools to make them productive members of society, no they are work horses. Age doesn't matter.

As I was driving down the street the other day, I watched a group of about 5 children 3 Black, 2 White, 1 girl weeding on a dangerously hot day. Now if they did the crime, they need to do the time, but what about schooling? Don't they need to learn something so that they are repeat offenders? As an educator I say, "YES!!!"

The biggest issue however is that we are not doing up in arms about these situations. We are just like well whatever. This will be the reason for our demise, so get your, "Yessa massas," "Okay boss," and you shuffle together, because it seems that they will be needed in the very near future. Good luck with that, because I would rather die free than live as a slave.


Ms. Denva

8 Random Things

Okay,

I got tagged by Paz on this Meme thingy so I will answer it. I guess it is really my fault for being incognegro for so long.

Directions: Tell 8 random things about yourself and then tag 8 other people to do the same. YAAAY!!!

This is going to be really hard since I share just about everything with you guys. LOL.

1.) I am a hopeless romantic. I can't help it. I love the idea of love.
2.) I love acting, it is adult dramatic play. Love it.
3.) I have been told I am a huge flirt. ;-)
4.) I would love to be a stay at home mom.
5.) I want to own a really big house and live in it by myself for a little while
6.) I am scared of marriage.
7.) I fight for those who can't fight for themselves.
8.) I get my feelings hurt and heart broken all the time by friends, family and boyfriends.


Call out:

1.) Torahmom
2.) T.A.N
3.) Dragon
4.) Counselor

Dang that is all the bloggers that I know. :-( I need to get more blog friends. LOL.

The 5280 Princess,

Ms. Denva

Most of you have known me for years, or all of my life, but what many of you may not know is that I am painfully shy when it comes to dating and asking people out. I am an extroverted and at times flirtatious person, but when I have to really bite the bullet and express my feelings I just can't get there. I am not sure why.

I enjoy getting to know people and dating, but the one on one thing just throws me for a loop. I can do the group date thing and be just fine. Bowling (I'm terrible), parties, clubs (not my fav), game nights with friends, potluck dinners and the like I can handle, but the whole one on one movies and dinner thing. YIKES!! You might as well stab me with a dull knife because it is like torture for me. The awkward silence, the worrying about what to wear, keeping all bodily functions in check, trying to be interesting and witty withough taking over the conversation. UGHHHHH!!! It is all too much for me.

My recently forced sabbatical from dating (i.e. broken foot and sprained ankles), has given me time to evaluate the whole dating situation and the funny thing is that I am still scared out of mind to go on one on one dates. Or maybe I just feel completely ill prepared. I could also be overthinking it but hey, thinking is what I do.

I have realized however, that I really enjoy having a decent boyfriend. It is fun dating then because all of the pretense and need to impress are out of the way. I am comfortable with that person, I can share with them or enjoy the silence because I know that they still care about me. The only problem is that I have to go through that icky bog known as a first date. And I repeat I hate first dates!!!! Hate, hate hate them!!!

So now comes the question, "What do I do?" I mean, you can't really have a relationship without dating and you can't date without putting yourself out there. Maybe I should let my friends and family hook me up, because I just can't seem to put myself out there. Then again I would still have to go on a first date. UGHHHH!! There is no escaping the first date. It is like herpes or something that just doesn't go away.

Anyway, if anyone has any suggestions on that please feel free to share, because honestly I struggle. LOL

The 5280 Princess,

Ms. Denva

Touche

As you all can see from the previous post, I called out The Counselor. Only to promptly be called out by Paz so here is a little post before I get into the big deep one that has been muddling through my mind.

5280 Princess

Putting out the call

Where is the Counselor? I haven't seen her blogging lately. She has commented, but I haven't gotten any emails. What is the deal Counselor my good buddy? I mean we can't even gang up on the Dragon anymore. LOL. Well if anyone has any info on the Counselor let me know. :-(

Ms. Denva

Oops! I Broke It x3

Many of you know and others don't so I figured this was the best way to get the news out to the most people. Maaaan! I broke myself. For those of you that know me, this does not come as a surprise in any way, shape or form. So here is the story:

I was having an excellent Sunday.

I had just turned in my last paper for one of my Master's classes. I had a plan for work and everything was going my way. I don't think Walt Disney could have come up with a better day if he tried. So I decide to turn in early and I have made the basement my new camp site as my room is "under construction." So I head down the stairs and low and behold the last four steps just seemed to disappear. While I was gliding ever so gracefully to the floor below all I could think of was, "No, no. Not now, I have so much to get done." At that point my feet me the ground and my right foot breaks in three places and I sprain both of my ankles. Needless to say I was in some serious pain. I crawled up the steps army style, because I am a "G" and I am not going to be stuck like chuck. I get to the top of the stairs and yell for my dad. He comes running down and realizes that I have seriously injured myself and will have to call 911. Which would have been cool since I was going to be in an ambulance for the first time, and I wouldn't be dead, but I was in pain so it wasn't so cool. I then had to make two very important calls 1.) my boss and 2.) my mom. Once I handled my business I sat on the floor shaking like I was having convulsions. Did you ever notice that the room gets super cold when you get hurt? And doesn't it seem like when you need help it takes forever for it to get to you? So I am laying on the floor cracking jokes to pass the time. So the paramedics get there, dope me up and haul me off to hospital, where I met some of the dumbest medical professionals on earth. After the X-ray tech attempted to compound my fracture they tell me I may need surgery, but then they decide that since I can't stand on my other sprained ankle, that wasn't even given an ace bandage for support, they are going to send me to another hospital. FINE!! Just give me more of your watered down drugs and get me out of here. So my nice EMT friends return and take me to the other hospital. They missed me, that is why they came back. LOL. Anyway I get to the new hospital, they cast me and dope me up
and then I am too drugged up to walk and they threaten to send me to a nursing home. I mean really! So I finally sober up, walk on a walker and get out of there. Our medical system sucks. Now after complaining, crying and some serious bruising due to a cast that was ill fitted I now have the Air Jordan of leg casts. It even pumps up like those old school sneakers.
I am still on heavy drugs and my boss is trying not to pay me. Such is life. I think I need a vacation.

Stuck on her high thrown in Denver,

Ms. Denva alias the broken

WE FREED SHAQUANDA!!!!!

Just a note, the day that I posted this blog Shaquanda was freed. Check out her website http://freeshaquandacotton.blogspot.com, for articles and video. YAAAAY!! Who says grass roots efforts don't work!!!!

5280 Princess,

Ms. Denva

(Spiritual Nap By Sterling Brown)

The Awakening of Sleeping Beauty

So I have been in my tower on my throne in the 5280, slumbering peacefully while the world moves cruelly by. It is time that I wake up and come down from the throne to help others. So here are some things that you need to read so that you too will come out of your proverbial slumber.

Check out T.A.N (The Assimilated Negro)'s blog discussing his feeling on the Shaquanda Cotton situation. Oh, you don't know what is going on? You don't know who Shaquanda Cotton is, hmm sounds like you have been in the same dream land as yours truly. Well good morning, take a look at what you have missed while you were sleeping. Click Shaquanda's name to find out more.

As we continue being briefed on what we have missed we can no longer sit around sleeping peacefully in our towers, without working to help others. If you disagree, well clearly you must not know about me. If we continue to allow others to experience injustice and turn a blind eye to it, who will be there to help us when the injustice slaps us in the face right on our own front door? That's right, nobody. So inform yourselves and take action because the world is getting worse. Your president is a sick, sadist, cruel and inhuman nut ball sitting in his ivory home that you pay for, making decisions for you, your family members and everyone else that is literally killing us.

So anybody check in on Lionel Tate lately? Oh you have been sleeping on his situation too. Well it is a good thing I woke up, because we all seem to be a bit out of the loop. Forgot about Lionel did you? Well, me too until I saw an article on him in Jet. When you read the article, let me know if you noticed that they were contemplating trying him for the same crime again. Is it just me or does anyone else know about the whole double jeopardy thing? I may be off, but that is illegal and a violation of his rights. Then again we do live in a renegade society so I suppose rights aren't really necessary here right?

Now if you have been asleep for a super long time, then check out the Southern Poverty Law Center's website so that you can catch up on all of the things you have been sleeping on.

Well good morning to all my sleepy heads, and now you can't say that you didn't know. All you can say is that you chose not to do something about it. Back to the tower to read more, learn more, change the globe. Thanks to NAS for that one.

the 5280 Princess,

Ms. Denva

Soul Remember- Album Review

After months of begging, pleading and getting the word out it is here, Soul Remember by the artist Rahjwanti. When listening to the carefully crafted music of this album you can’t help but tap into the emotions of happiness, romance and consciousness. Each song evokes raw emotion and provokes deep introspection. As the melodic baritone wraps words around your mind you can’t help but wonder if Rahjwanti has been peeking in the window of your soul. At 32 years young Rahjwanti has experienced things in life that many of us will never understand, mainly dealing with the aftermath of hurricane Katrina, one of the worst natural disasters to hit our country in decades. Through all of that tragedy however Rahjwanti rises out of the ashes like a phoenix of music and brings the soul of New Orleans back to the world. I had the opportunity to ask the artist a few questions on how he feels about his album, art, life and of course love.

After reading his responses I came away with the feeling that he is very God driven and that he watches people intently. Being a self proclaimed, “late bloomer,” Rahjwanti did not begin to pursue his musical career until his late twenties. Giving him enough time to have lived life and really create music with which others can relate. Though Rahjwanti does not have a favorite song from his album, he likened my question to asking a parent to pick a favorite child, he does have a song with which he most relates. That song is I Hate To Tell Ya he feels that this song best represents his struggle with having to make a decision between a relationship and pursuing his music full time. His love of music prevailed happily enough for his fans. He is also a self proclaimed romantic and feels that romance is something that is individual and special for each person.

Two of my favorite songs are So Soul Good and Stick Around, so I took this opportunity to ask Rahjwanti about his inspirations for these songs. So Soul Good my morning anthem was written as his love wishlist. Everything he put in that song is how he would like to feel in a real relationship. If you have not yet heard that song you are truly missing a treat. As for Stick Around, he states that it is not autobiographical, but rather a song that illustrates the life and struggles of a close
friend. Again showing Rahjwanti’s compassion for others and how he translates that into his music. Both songs are excellent as are the other songs on the album.

When I asked Rahjwanti about his many female admirers, he humbly stated that he has no problem with the attention as he is God driven and sees that his gifts are coming across and being received positively. He truly appreciates all of his fans and states that he speaks to the majority of the many people that send him messages daily. He feels that it is important that he stay grounded and he knows that his fans are a major part of his success, second only to God.

I also had to question Rahjwanti on how growing up and living in New Orleans helped to mold him as an artist. Rahjwanti feels that there is so much talent and a great artistic soul in New Orleans that is yet to be recognized and he is making it his mission to get the word out. That being said, I felt it only fitting to discuss how the aftermath of Katrina effected him musically. Katrina left him numb because he was watching so much suffering. He was watching his people, a people so steeped in culture and spirit, struggle in a manner not seen in the United States for centuries. He said that his music halted, but because he feels that music is bigger than just Rahjwanti the individual he continued on his path. He wants the world, through his music, to see that New Orleans still has a lot to offer and that it is a place where talented people can be found. He also reiterated that they are still suffering in New Orleans. Which made me think that there has to be more that we can all be doing to alleviate the suffering of the people of New Orleans, as they are not refugees, but American citizens. They’re not heavy, they’re our brothers and we must help pick them up and get them back to the level of success they once enjoyed.

Rahjwanti is a decent, humble guy that is able to tap into the soul of all people with passionate words and rhythms. After listening to his CD in constant rotation for some time now, I am unable to pinpoint my one favorite song, but the one that makes me happy (like cake), whenever is So Soul Good. The one that touches the romantic in me is Infectous. Finally the one that brings out my consciousness is Stick Around. Again each song on the album has endeared itself in my musical soul. The CD is well worth the listen and is priced well. If you would like to purchase a copy so that you can see exactly what I am talking about you can go to www.myspace.com/rahjwantimusic. It was well worth the wait Rahjwanti.

By

Amara Michaelle

Senses

If you had to lose any sense of the five sense what would it be? I can't tell you how many times that question has been asked to me. I thought well I wouldn't want to lose my sight because I love to read and take in scenery, but then again I wouldn't want to lose any of them.

Well that question is more of a reality for me and it becomes more and more apparent every day.

I am losing my hearing. I have been to the doctor and she stated that it will be almost completely gone by the time that I am 50. I have begun to learn sign language so that I will be able to continue communication. Which is actually fun, as I love learning new languages. I am also a pretty good lip reader, just ask my aunt. LOL.

It is not all horrible since I have realized that I won't have to listen to peoples crap so that is a major plus. The only thing is, I have a few friends who are amazing singers and I realized that I will miss out on their life changing music. That is the hardest thing for me so far.


Now there are many scientific advances such as implants, hearing aids and I am sure some random sonar thing that they will come up with, but do I really want to go through all of that. Now the hearing aids I am game for as long as I can get one in purple. I mean I might as well make it cute. Do you think they come in bling? I am just saying, it saves on earrings. LOL. As for the implants, I just can't bring myself to let someone drill a hole in my head so that I can hear. I will stick with the sign language and hearing aids thank you.



Many people keep telling me not to claim it, but the reality is, I can't hear a lot of things now. For instance if you are standing behind me, good luck getting me to hear a word that you said. There are very few times that I am able to hear behind me especially when there is a lot of background noise. Maybe that is why I hate the club? hmmm. I mean when Triflin Tyrone and Grandpa with no teeth except the one gold one in the front try to come up and hit on me I can't here their classic lines such as; "Heeeeeey girl! How you doin? Are you from Tennessee? Because you are the only ten I see." Or my favorite, "Yeeeaaaah girl, you don't know nothin bout this right here." I mean who wants to miss out on that it is the joy of the club experience.

My cousin Rick who I memorialized in a previous post was mainly deaf and if he didn't have his hearing aids in that was a wrap. He was amazing though, he didn't let that stop him from being a successful actor. He did scare us once however when he let them dip him in water, because he didn't have an ear drum at all and water was a very bad idea for him. He kept on pushing. He also used to give money to a school for the deaf. So there are many ways to deal with this issue.

Until my hearing completely goes I will continue to enjoy the music of my girl Dani Love (www.myspace.com/simplyloveband), my homeboy Rahjwanti (www.myspace.com/rahjwanti), and many more. I will continue to take voice lessons and sing along with my soon to be mastery of sign language.

So if you see me rolling with my iced out hearing aids don't hate or I will turn them off and ignore your ass. LOL

Ms. Denva


The 5280 Princess

BFF

So I have been racking my brain trying to figure out what to write about. I forgot to mention that my last post was my 50th, I am well on my way to being a super blogger. YAAAAY! Any back to the subject at hand. I decided that there is no better topic to address than bestfriends.

What makes a bestfriend? I really had to think about this subject. As I honestly have the most amazing bestfriend in the world. So I had to say what makes her that person to me. Well, after much introspection I realized that a bestfriend is that person that you can be most honest with and not fear that they are going to judge you. I can tell her anything that I have done good or bad and not feel judged. Now don't trip, she will check me when I am doing wrong, but it doesn't feel like judgement. She is so kind and understands that I am truly a sensitive soul that she will tell me about myself with sterness, but finesse at the same time. What more could you ask for? In terms of support, we are each others biggest non-blood cheerleaders. Her success is truly my success as mine is truly hers. We have no debt to each other, if one has then the other is covered, whether it is a house, car, money or whatever we truly have each others back. She is the woman that I would give my children to (if I ever have any LOL) should something happen to me, because I know that she will love them, care for them, and raise them exactly the way that I would want them to be raised.

It is funny to think that we have only known each other for 10 years and it seems like I have known her my entire life. We are getting to the point of having telepathy. "Girl, what's up? I had this feeling that I needed to call you right now." Even though we talk to each other almost everyday. :-) She is the sister I never had and I am glad because I don't think that sisters can be as close to each other as we are. In hard times and in victories she is just amazing and I only hope that I reciprocate the love and enthusiasm that she gives to me.

I hope that all people can have a friend like this in life.

I was watching Grey's Anatomy recently and Meredith the main character died for sometime and her bestfriend Christina was so at a loss she just ran in there and told her she was not allowed to die. So after I sobbed my eyes out I called my bestfriend and told her she better not die on me. I really thought about that episode and realized that I would be devastated if something ever happened to her. I would need some serious intensive therapy. I may not be able to function. That in my opinion is how you know that that person is your bestfriend. They are your right hand and so important to you that you may not be able to function without them. So she is my bestfriend.

Dani love, thank you for everything. You truly are my bestfriend.

So this love thing...hmmm. What is it really? I have done some Google searching on the topic. I have asked my friends, I have asked my family and I have asked myself, at that point is when I had a revelation. Love is what I make of it. If I think I love something then it is true for me. It is real genuine love. Now I have discussed the varied types of love in Bible Study and I do believe that there are times when I force myself to be more in love than I really am. However, when those emotions do surface, it is still true love in my heart. It hurts when it is thrown aside and taken for granted and it feels great when it is appreciated and reciprocated. I love the above picture because that is what love should be, our very own comfort zones. Love is comfort food for the soul. Everyone knows that I love cake, that is my serious comfort food. Hence my love for birthdays. My Dad gave me some great advice, which I will give you a snippet of, because I honestly believe he should do seminars on this topic. He told me that I should only be with a person that comes with their cake baked and that should only be when my cake is also baked. Great advice right? You should have been there for the whole story. I feel like I should no longer shun love past, present and future. Love is there to helps us learn about ourselves and others. Did you know that without love, touch and attention a baby can die. It is called failure to thrive and there have been many studies that show that a baby that is born and is ignored can and has died in many instances. Love is as vital to us as air, water and food. So why is it that when we become adults we push love away and try to convince ourselves and others that we don't need love, we can do this by ourselves? That is soo not true and we have to realize that when it comes to humans and love there can and will be loss, but during that time we are learning at every step. Being a life long learner I know that there are always moments to learn and they can be very painful, but that is exactly what they are... moments. We are not meant to be alone that is why we have families and make friends. So I have come to the conclusion that I am happy to love and be in love at the right time, whenever that is. Love was meant for everyone and yes, that includes the 5280 Princess, Ms. Denva. So the 5280 Princess is going to go on ahead and open herself up to finding the love that she is meant to have. I am fully aware that this might hurt, but those scrapes and bruises create a story that is my life and I am ready to live again.

The 5280 Princess,

Ms. Denva

(Words of Wisdom By Melinda Byers)

www.artisanartsonline.com

Life Lessons

So recently I have been going through a lot of life changes and I have been forced to make some very difficult decisions a few of which I am regretting, but those are mainly work related.

I have learned a lot in this process. I learned that even when you are helping other people and it seems obvious to you that you deserving of reward, humans will not give you what you deserve.

I learned that children lie often and it really taints your view of them even if you love them to pieces.

I learned that it is important to parent at all times as children lie all the time and your view is tainted.

I learned that no matter how much you give, especially to family it is never enough and never right.

I learned that even though I am right a vast majority of the time, people just plain don't listen to me.

I also learned that if I am ever going to succeed in life, I have to take everything into my own hands and stop working for other people.

I learned that it is important to purge yourself of toxic relationships as soon as you see them so that you are stuck in heartbreak or become the, "In Between Girl."

I also learned that I really want to get a piece of that NFL money. I am working on that.

I also learned that I am at this juncture in my life, because God is getting ready to move and do great things within me and through me and that I am only being tested because I am blessed. This is God putting me through the fire after he had beaten and molded me into the fine piece of China that I know I will be when all is said and done. I can feel it now, so I am holding strong to my faith which is the best lesson I have learned so far.

So I wish you all lessons like mine so that we can all come out in the end fine as China.

Too Blessed to be Stressed,

Ms. Denva

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Amara, Amba, Ms.Denva
Birthday:	July 24, 1979
Birthplace:	Denver, Colorado
Current Location:	Denver soon to be Atlanta
Eye Color:	brown
Hair Color:	brown
Height:	5'2 1/2"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	to the right to the right
Your Heritage:	Native/Blacktino
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Pumas
Your Weakness:	Sappy love songs
Your Fears:	If I tell you, you might try it
Your Perfect Pizza:	Graziano's
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Finish my novel and my master's
Your Most Overused Phrase:	burnanert
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Friday?
Your Best Physical Feature:	smile
Your Bedtime:	when I pass out
Your Most Missed Memory:	anything from childhood
Pepsi or Coke:	neither- juice. I love juice.
MacDonalds or Burger King:	neither- Good Times or Mo' Betta Meaty Meat Burger
Single or Group Dates:	Group- I am shy
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Neither- my mom's sun tea
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Cake batter from Coldstone
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Gingerbread Latte
Do you Smoke:	No-asthma
Do you Swear:	more than I should
Do you Sing:	only in the shower or with my voice teacher
Do you Shower Daily:	Yes, that is a requirement. More than once preferably
Have you Been in Love:	Yes- that was a bad idea all together
Do you want to go to College:	Been there done that and going for the doctorate
Do you want to get Married:	If I have to
Do you belive in yourself:	I am the Bomb so yes.
Do you get Motion Sickness:	Not really
Do you think you are Attractive:	Yes. I am cute.
Are you a Health Freak:	Nope. I love cake
Do you get along with your Parents:	Mainly. I am a super duper Daddy's girl.
Do you like Thunderstorms:	Yep. The almighty power
Do you play an Instrument:	nope
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	yep- but only a little bit for New Years
In the past month have you Smoked:	Nope-Asthma I told ya. Sheesh nobody listens
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	HECKS NAW
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	Nope. I have to get punked into that.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	Yep in Missouri where they sell grillz at the kiosk
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	Nope- I like cake. Again with the not listening.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	Yes. I love it.
In the past month have you been on Stage:	Yes
In the past month have you been Dumped:	Nope. Again I have to get punked into dating
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	Hecks no. I live in Colorado are you serious?
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	Nope.
Ever been Drunk:	Man, I think that apartment still has a hole in the wall.
Ever been called a Tease:	Yesssssss!
Ever been Beaten up:	Hecks No. I ain't no punk
Ever Shoplifted:	Nope
How do you want to Die:	Quickly
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	Blessed, Loved, Famous, Successful
What country would you most like to Visit:	Between Greece and Italy
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	no preference
Favourite Hair Color:	no preference
Short or Long Hair:	short, fresh from the baber shop. Yep.
Height:	Taller than I
Weight:	I like um big (Ruben ;-), but all nice guys are welcome
Best Clothing Style:	whatever matches and looks nice
Number of Drugs I have taken:	Zero, none, zilch, nada
Number of CDs I own:	who cares? Everyone does MP3
Number of Piercings:	as few as possible
Number of Tattoos:	Don't get all inked up one or two is sexy.
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	2
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Break My Heart Again, and I'll Kill You!!

Now I know many of you out there are thinking that I have gone off of the deep end. Which may or may not be true, however I think it is time that we talk about heart break on a real and honest level. It sucks!!!

Most will agree that heartbreak on any level is not pleasant, but there is really a hierarchy of heartbreak. From acceptable heart break like, the Eagles losing in the playoffs, to unacceptable heartbreak, like your spouse of 20 years decides to cheat on you with the younger, uglier, hairier French nanny.

Heartbreak can take on these many forms and mean different things to different people. On the whole however, we work hard as human beings to get over the pain of heartbreak and the loss of someone or something that we put time and effort into.

Sometimes our heartbreak is self inflicted. For instance, we may do something like I know that I should be studying right now, but I am going to get an extra hour or two of sleep, or write for an hour or so in my blog. At this point if you get any other grade besides and "A" or do not pass the test, it is your fault. You are the reason for your heartbreak and you now need to suck it up and deal with it. Your bad. Minus 10 points on you.

Other times heartbreak is inflicted by others, this in my opinion can be the most painful type of heartbreak ever. Example, you are not the love of my life, my ex-girlfriend who is psycho and cheated on me with both my brother and my bestfriend on the night I was going to ask her to marry me is, I'm sorry. Really it's not you, it's me. Oh an yes, she was the one you caught me sleeping with on that show Cheaters. OUCH! Now that is low. Honestly, I am not sure how people survive that one.


Then there is the inadvertant heartbreak that can either be self-inflicted or inflicted by others. Example; I have known you for 8 years, dated you for 6 and been married to you for 10 and I just don't know who you are, we have drifted apart.


I mean even Cupid struggled with heartbreak when he was married to psyche. Hmmm? Anyway, it just goes to show that no one is immune to the pain caused by heartbreak.

So I pose these questions. Why do we keep trying? Why do we keep setting ourselves up for this? Why don't we just call it a day, harden the old heart and go on our merry way?

Seriously, I wanna know, because I am all about the hardened heart.

Curiously,

Ms. Denva

EAGLES!!!

I must inform you all that my team had a stellar performance this weekend for their wildcard spot. Although we have all been struggling with McNabb being out, we have rallied around Garcia and are coming out on top. Although we, the Eagles, have a lot of respect for Tiki Barber and his speed and agility it was not match for the man of the hour, the playmaker, the one the only and the one that I have a huge crush on; Mr. Brian Westbrook.

As they say on the show Rob and Big, "Do work! Scooby do woooork!" Which is exactly what Westbrook did all game. When he got the ball, he made things happen. I have been a Westbrook fan and crusher for 4 years. He is an amazing football player, that does not get his proper due. He had to survive during the tyrannical time of T.O. and still he quietly went about doing work. While others were causing friction he was making plays. And again he is shunned from pro bowl fames. What's up with that? Who are the haters who make that decision? Lucky for them Brian has class and continues to show them the error in their ways time and again. He did mention he was unhappy to not have been picked, but for good reason, he DOES WORK! Did I mention he is a man of the community, check out "Brian's Blessings" on his website http://www.bwestbrook.com. Hats off to the best running back, in my opinion the league, but definitely in the conference Brian Westbrook. Feel free Mr. Westbrook to propose at any time, because the answer is, "YES!" I just had to add that in case he stumbles upon my blog. :-) Oh, but if you would be more comfortable with a few dates first, that is okay as well. :-)

This coming Saturday we play the Saints and I know that they don't know bout Westbrook.

Westbrook for President and Denva for first lady.

Green and White,

Ms. Denva

P.S. Mr. Westbrook, I wear my women's green #36 jersey for every game. ;-)

P.P.S Okay there is my picture for all of you to see. If you clown I will take it down.