Most of you have known me for years, or all of my life, but what many of you may not know is that I am painfully shy when it comes to dating and asking people out. I am an extroverted and at times flirtatious person, but when I have to really bite the bullet and express my feelings I just can't get there. I am not sure why.

I enjoy getting to know people and dating, but the one on one thing just throws me for a loop. I can do the group date thing and be just fine. Bowling (I'm terrible), parties, clubs (not my fav), game nights with friends, potluck dinners and the like I can handle, but the whole one on one movies and dinner thing. YIKES!! You might as well stab me with a dull knife because it is like torture for me. The awkward silence, the worrying about what to wear, keeping all bodily functions in check, trying to be interesting and witty withough taking over the conversation. UGHHHHH!!! It is all too much for me.

My recently forced sabbatical from dating (i.e. broken foot and sprained ankles), has given me time to evaluate the whole dating situation and the funny thing is that I am still scared out of mind to go on one on one dates. Or maybe I just feel completely ill prepared. I could also be overthinking it but hey, thinking is what I do.

I have realized however, that I really enjoy having a decent boyfriend. It is fun dating then because all of the pretense and need to impress are out of the way. I am comfortable with that person, I can share with them or enjoy the silence because I know that they still care about me. The only problem is that I have to go through that icky bog known as a first date. And I repeat I hate first dates!!!! Hate, hate hate them!!!

So now comes the question, "What do I do?" I mean, you can't really have a relationship without dating and you can't date without putting yourself out there. Maybe I should let my friends and family hook me up, because I just can't seem to put myself out there. Then again I would still have to go on a first date. UGHHHH!! There is no escaping the first date. It is like herpes or something that just doesn't go away.

Anyway, if anyone has any suggestions on that please feel free to share, because honestly I struggle. LOL

The 5280 Princess,

Ms. Denva