(Hang On Have Faith By Johnny Myer)



Shout Out To The Brothas

I n my previous blog I gave kudos to Big and beautiful sistas now it is time to give the respect due to our African Kings. Black men have had to endure and perservere for centuries, beside and at times behind Black women because they are marginalized. Well, the margin is no longer sufficient for our Brothas and it is time they step back into the limelight and claim their rightful thrones. From the great Pharaohs in Egypt to the Kings in Kush, West Africa, Southern and Central Africa, to the freedom fighters in the America's men of the African diaspora have made strides and helped to create the world as we know, so let's give the men a hand. Here are some of my Favorite Black men from history to the present.

I will begin in antiquity and move forward. The first Brotha I want to give homage to has been immortalized, anglicized and villianized by many, but to me he is a hero. He was obedient to God, even when he didn't know God with the big "G", Ladies and Gents Pharoah Ramses II. He had great pyramids built and ruled his country with compassion and an iron fist.










The next high profile Brotha I want to recognize is Mansa Musa. Many of the young cats nowdays say that they are ballers and that they can buy all of these things, but can they bring so much money or gold in this case to a city and bankrupt them? Mansa Musa did on his pilgrimage to Mecca, which is done by an obedient follower of Islam as a part of the five pillars, when he stopped in Egypt to rest. He had so much West African gold that he devalued it in Egypt. Now that is for real baller status and to top it off, he was so secure in his kingdom, that he took the majority of his kingdom with him on the pilgrimage so that they all were obedient to Allah. Now that is holding down the family.

Now I am going to jump forward centuries to a man, who if he weren't like 50 years older than myself I would marry him, that and he is married. Mr. Harry Belafonte. Even though I believe he should have married Dorothy Dandridge, he still gets and "A-okay" in my book. His lilting voice and smooth moves, made more than one woman swoon in the 40's, 50's and 60's. He is considered the King of Calypso in the United States and he is a very vocal activist for the rights of the oppressed. Gotta love Harry Belafonte. I know I do.


Next we move to a grouping of men and one man in particular that I admire for their strength in standing up for what they believe is right. The Black Panther Party and especially Huey Newton. The Black Panther Party stood up to the Oakland Police and eventually the oppressive American nation saying that they would no longer take the abuse that was being doled out on a daily basis in the Black community. Their work in education, awareness, activism and free breakfast programs demonstrated what we can do as a people if we mobilize and work to improve our community and take it back for our children. They were so bad (meaning good) that the FBI had to create a program to divide and conquer the Panthers called CoinTelPro. You know you are doing something right when you are on Washington's radar. Huey Newton, Co-founder and outspoken leader was a man among men. Though he had his faults, he was extremely intelligent earning a doctoral degree while fighting the power. He worked inside and out of the system. Unfortunately he was murdered by a drug dealer in the 80's, or so the story is told. The Panthers had not mobilized in that fashion since, but will forever be a great example of Black mobilization. Beret's off to the Black Panther Party and Huey Newton.


Next we have a couple of gentlemen that I have had crushes on for a long time. The first is Mr. Morris Chestnut. He is a fine actor and just fine in general. I know that he is married and I respect that because from what I understand stand his wife is a sista that is handling her business. So big ups again to Morris for finding a strong black sista to hold him down. That is just one more reason for me to be a devoted fan.







One of my most favorite recent actors is Isiah Washington of Grey's Anatomy. I don't care what the fight was about, this man can act his butt off. He brings forward a sincerity and vulnerability that is rarely seen in Black characters. He also has an amazing amount of strength and really brings a humanity to his character. He is good looking and talented what more can you want? Now I know some of you may call my card about him being in the movie Love Jones. He was a great actor then, but the scraggly look was not working for the brotha. Not only that but I just knew that Larenz Tate was the most beautiful man in the world. Isiah has over showed Mr. Tate and how lovely is it in the 106 degree shade.

The next adoration of my life is none other than Ruben Studdard. Oh the velvet teddy bear. He is just so handsome, the epitome of manliness to me. When he first sang on the audition for American Idol I honestly had to sit down because I became literally weak in the knees. Anyone who knows me, knows that I have an affinity for large men and boy does Ruben do it for me. It is so sad that he had such a hard introduction into the music business, but like the velvet teddy bear phoenix that he is, he has overcome the odds and has in my opinion a great album.



Now these are just the "famous"Black men that I adore. I would be remiss if I didn't mention the Famous, and always superstars to me, men that are in my life. My dad Mikey J, Paz the ultimate Big Bro, Dragon my brother from another brother/mother, Brandon keeps me on my toes, Josh brings out the music in me, Keith my cousin the holds me down and keeps me fed, Melvin you know how we do, Be Frank making sense of life, Norman what's buzzin cousin, Nick 97 skillz eternal and the many faithful blog readers who help me wade through this thing called life.

All honor and pride to the brothas,

Ms. Denva

Plus-Sized = Beautiful

So the debate rages on about body image and what is beautiful. Everyday we hear about another model that has anorexia or bulimia or has died from one of both of the diseases. The battle to be thin and, in American as well as European eyes, beautiful takes a toll on the psyche of the American woman.
When all know the facts that the average model is a size 0-2 and the average woman is a size 10-14ish :-). That is all fine and dandy for them, but there are women out there who are larger and who are gorgeous. Let's look at a few examples.

First we have the very talented and gorgeous Kimberley Locke from Season 2 American Idol. When I actually still watched it. She is a plus-sized model for Lane Bryant (they should pay me for the amount of clothing I buy there). She has a gorgeous voice and is an extremely attractive woman. All this begs the question, why isn't she being blown-up like that clown azz Clay Aiken? Maybe because she is not a size 0-2? I dunno, but I would venture to guess that I am right.















Next we have the phenomenal Lisa Nicole Carson. She has always been one of the actresses in Hollywood that I have admired. She can sing and act and is altogether a very interesting person to watch on film. Lisa like most women in America has had some serious issues with her look and it has caused her to have to seek medical attention which is too bad because she is gorgeous.
















Another woman who is extremely talented that I have followed a majority of her career is Countess Vaughn. She like so many women in America struggles with her weight, even though she is really not a large girl. While working as an extra on the Parkers she and I chatted a little bit and she seemed to be a very kind and funny individual. We even caught each other doing the same dance to music that was piped on to the set in between shots, that was funny. I last saw her on the VH1 Celebreality show Celebrity Fit Club. I know as an actor I should be protesting this, but I reconciled that the people on the show were actors so I was supporting them :-). In any case Ms. Vaughn was going through what seemed like a very messy and emotionally taxing divorce and like myself she is an emotional eater, thus she did not get the full impact of the show, but it really did show how painfully human she is and that she like so many others use food as a friend, comfort and something to control.




Finally the always regal, rapper turned Diva. Her Royal Highness, Ms. Queen Latifah. She has seen tragedy in her life namely the death of her brother and has held strong and stayed true to her plus sized roots. From Rapper to Spokesmodel Queen is the Quintessential plus sized woman. She is smart, strong and beautiful. She exudes self pride and is someone that many should be able to admire. She has a great support system in her mother manager (seen to the right in the photo), but Queen really takes hold of who she is and is not ashamed to share it. She is the ultimate in plus sized beauty and confidence.


There is one beautiful Plus sized woman that I did forget and I want to thank Brandon for pointing that out. The extremely confident and alluring Toccara Jones. She is gorgeous and shows her beauty inside and out. When on both America's Next Top Model as well as Celebrity Fit Club she maintained her plus sized pride and stated that she enjoyed being a big girl. Hats off to Ms. Jones, workin it for the big girls.

So no matter how you weigh in on the weight debate it is clear that talent should transcend all physical and social acceptance boundries. There are big beautiful women out there and we should all be proud of who we are and only work on maintaining health, sanity and happiness.

Pleasantly plump,

Ms. Denva

(In Prayer by Laurie Cooper)

Depression

Okay,

I usually try to keep it light, but memorable in this forum. Today, however is going to be heavy. As many of you know I live with, suffer from, however you want to put it, depression. I do not have control over when depressions will hit, I just know that it is a very scary time in my life. As I have stated in a previous blog I have had many friends who committed sucide and most of them were due to them falling into a heavy bout of depression. It is a disease that snuff's people out and that is the scariest part. You never know when this depression will be the one to take you under. I try to pray my way out of it, or eat something that increases endorphins or I will just lock myself in my room and cry. I have found that the older I get the worse they get and the longer they stay. I can be thrown into a depression just my someone saying something at just the right time, that is painful and hurtful, even if it were not intentional. Sometimes, I just fall into them for no apparent reason. I have sought help for it, but unless I am in crisis I usually am not very good at following up with it. I have had therapists that I am not comfortable with and so I stop going and don't seek another. I am also leery of having long term treatment for it since I have been in jobs where I have to get my own insurance and that does not bode well with a potential insurance company. I am not sure if these are excuses, which they very well may be but this is the reality that I am living. I fall into dark spirals that I am afraid I may never come out of, I become withdrawn and standoffish. Usually right before a deep depression I have a huge emotional high. Then I plummet like a person with a failing parachute. I force myself to maintain normalcy, to fight it. The fights are getting harder.

Ms. Denva

(The Struggle Lives On by Laurie Cooper)

Snow

Well, it looks as though we will have a very white Christmas this year. We are in the midst of a blizzard. Our entire city has shut down. I am glad that I didn't have to go to work, that was a serious plus, but our kids were in the middle of finals, so I am not sure how that is going to work. Good thing I gave mine last week. I am going to tally my grades and turn them in. Anyway off of the boring stuff. Let's talk about snow.

I have grown up in Denva, Colorada and I still am not used to snow. I hate driving in it and having to function in it. I have always said that it wouldn't be so bad if it weren't cold. I do however understand how people can see the beauty in it. When you are driving from my house and turn out west toward the mountains, on a clear day you can see the beautiful snow caps above Red Rocks. It is an empowering and beautiful experience. I have lived in a warm climate, and have celebrated Christmas' in Hawaii, but there really is nothing like a fresh evergreen tree, a warm fire with hot apple cider and family to watch opening presents. It really can be idealic. Well enough of that. See you all in blogger land.

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Ms. Denva

(Supreme by Zebra)

The Whole Thing

So as I am getting closer to 30 (yaaay!!!) I am learning more and more about myself and the completely complex person that I am. There are goals that I had when I was younger, that I do not have anymore and there are goals that I have now that I never thought I would have. However, with each goal that is set and reach and each new revelation I am beginning to become more and more comfortable with who I am as a whole person. I still think the 20's totally sucked because there is a lot of insecurity and in my case a lot of pain and heartbreak. I don't ever want to have to relive the things that I have had to in the past 7 almost 8 years. I want to learn from them and move on. It has shown me however, that I am an extremely strong and proud black woman who doesn't take any stuff, but will give you the shirt off her back if you ask her. Now, I very well may have been that way before, but I never really looked inward to realize that that is really who I am. In my art blog http://amaraart.blogspot.com I talk about who I am and how proud I am of that. Each day is a new day of understanding and there are some things that I see that I don't particularly like and I am working on the self improvement for myself and not to please one or many other people. I want to be in a nice space and I really believe that I am very close to that. I have had some hardknocks that I wasn't really prepared for, or so I thought. Faith has brought me through things that I know others would have taken their lives for, but I have known for some time that I am blessed and there are people around me that show me that blessing everyday. Especially those of you who read my blogs as many of you are my friends and family. Those of you who just happened upon my blog through whatever means, thank you as well your comments and your support through my trying times have been a blessing and if I have not said that yet I am definitely saying it now. If you get a chance to check out my art blog please feel free to leave comments. That is really where I bear my soul, in a spoken word type format. I have worked through many a problem on that blog and it helps me heal. I am thinking of beginning to put some of my creative writing on a new blog, I will let you know if that is the case until then I am going to continue on my journey of self-actualization.

(Freedom Dance by Laurie Cooper)

Ms. Denva soon to be Ms. Georgia :-)

The Counselor got me this time. I think there is a conspiracy in that household to chainblog me. LOL. This time however, this is a very easy, fun and festive blog. I have to name 5 of my favorite Holiday Songs and then call out 5 of my favorite blogger friends. So here it goes, in no particular order.

1.) All I Want For Christmas (Alvin and the Chipmunks version)

2.) Silent Night

3.) Comfort and Joy

4.) Special Gift (Donnie McClurkin)

5.) Nguzo Saba

Honorable Mentions

1.) The Dradle Song

2.) Little Drummer Boy

3.) Ujima (Kory and Keana's version when they aren't fighting)

4.) Favorite Things (Not my mom's version. there are no missiles on stickers mom. LOL)

5.) Let it Snow (as long as I don't have to be in the snow)

Least Favorite

1.) Santa is coming to town (Santa is a stalker and creepy in this song. Paz this does not mean he

is that way all the time so don't try to go there. LOL)

Have safe and happy holidays all,

Ms. Denva

(Seduction by Edward Claywright)

Romantic Fantasy

So I have decided that I love to read romance novels. My favorite author is Francis Ray. She is so good I have considered moving to New Mexico and Texas respectively. Her writing makes me think, "They makeum like that in (insert name of city in novel here)?" Romance novels are really a reflection of my inner soul, however I have realized that I need to STOP reading them. They are giving me false hope an expectations. Guys are not like that and neither are women. It does not work out in a neatly definted 200 pages give or take. However, just for a second allow me to image that it can really happen like that.

I would be busy working on something, and be an expert in that area. I would be lonely because the last relationship I had ended badly because I was either; cheated on, unfulfilled emotionally, unfulfilled sexually, unfulfilled emotionally and sexually, set on the back burner, used as a trophy, was not considered good enough or we just grew apart.
I would then have a chance meeting with a stranger in one of the following locations; some form of public transportation, a business gala, a business dinner, a business convention, while working for the person, because their dying uncle gave me thier land, or any social local including, grocery stores and clubs. We would catch eyes and instantly fall in love. We would exchange information and then deny how we felt about each other so as not to scare the other off for the next 6 months to years depending on the time in the story. Then something tragic would happen to one or the other of us either involving one of us directly or someone close to us, that would then make us realize that we really are made for each other and should be together always. Then the Epilogue would describe our wonderful Caribbean or tropical wedding and honeymoon, then go on to say that I gave birth (hold on I need to have a laugh break. Anyone who knows me knows that I am too squimish to give birth) to twins any combination will do and live happily ever after. GOSH DARN IT! The Romance novels are grown up fairy tales with sex. I knew it was too good to be true. See, that is why reading should not be fundamental. It will get my poor little hopes up and dash them into the ground when I remove myself from the comfort of my bed, sauna or tub.

Then again I may just be in the stage where I am alone for any of the above mentioned reasons and some day my prince will come. Even that was a little too mushy, hopeful and Disney for me. Oh well, everyone loves the happiest place on Earth.

Apparently my friend Josh has not been to Medieval Times, which is the grown up Disneyland. So, I will volunteer to go with him as I had a ball at King Arthur's court in Florida.

I bid you all ado and I can't wait to be inspired and, "BRING ON THE NEXT REMOOOOOOVEEEE!"

Hopelessly romantic,

Ms. Denva

P.S.
It is a shame I know.